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Posts Tagged ‘a funny’

only 67% ?!?


Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male


Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you’re tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

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TAGGED

Mik tagged me…

If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
The dogs, definitely part of the family, the fish… eh, he’s growing on me

If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
hmm…. It changes from day to day … dunno

What is the one thing most hated by you?
oh spiders!

What would you do with a billion dollars?
well, shoot, if I had a billion dollars, I wouldn’t need the first question, I’d be able to do anything 

What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
a giggle from my kiddos  

Choose one letter of your name and come up with a word to describe yourself.
D – delightful {snort}

What’s your bedtime routine?
A little tv, sometimes a book, the fan on, covers pulled up tight

What kind of books do you buy?
oh so very many

Where do you want to be in ten years?
I’d like to say Hawaii, but um…. these questions are so hard

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
she’s a sweet, shoe-holic gal, that I call a friend

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
coffee…must have coffee

What’s your favorite food?
just one…

Formal Wear or Casual Wear?
Totally casual and bare foot most of the day

Sports: Football or baseball?

I like both, but football slightly more

What do you consider your guilty pleasure?

Lifetime…

 

I’m tagging Eenie, Meenie, Minie… Moe is off the hook … LOL

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Ponderisms

Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. But it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

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Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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That's Punny

1. Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery.

2. A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

3. Practice safe eating — always use condiments.

4. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

14. Without geometry, life is pointless.

15. A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

16. When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

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